Mindful Birth NY | Mary Esther Malloy-Hopwood

Baby Number One is Announced
A new Scorpio came into the world yesterday Tuesday November 6, 2007. Amy labored for 24 hours and pushed him out at 9:38 AM. No drugs. She was amazing. Lucas is healthy and Amy is recuperating. Our doula, Elanna, was terrific. The nurses were really great. Doctors ok. But all went well at NY Presbyterian (Cornell). They said 1% of mothers give birth there like Amy did! Look forward to seeing you soon.
Love George, Amy, & Luke

Baby Number Two Arrives at the SL/R Birth Center
Hi all, Rebecca gave birth to Jonah C. Henley this morning at 2:35 am. Mom and Baby are healthy and doing fantastic. We couldn't have accomplished what we did without all of the knowledge we absorbed in Mary Esther's class and the reading we did in the Bradley method. The birth was unmedicated and natural. We are so happy that our birth went the way it did.The "hard work" part of the laboring process itself was pretty textbook. Rebecca handled it terrifically. We jumped in a cab for the hospital when she hit the major self-doubt point. She was 7 cms dilated when we got there.We had a couple curveballs before and after the laboring though. The first curveball was minor. It came on Thursday night when we thought Rebecca's water might have broken. (She woke up with her pajama pants soaked). It turned out to be a high leak (in the bag of waters) that sealed itself back over. This was interesting because it was one of the more unusual occurrences we learned about in the class that actually happened to us. The midwives determined the bag of waters hadn't broken. We were happy to hear this because Rebecca wasn't having contractions at that point and the bag being intact meant we weren't "on the clock" to show progress within 24 hours.The second curveball was more major and occurred during the pushing stage. Rebecca began pushing just fine. But about 15 minutes in, the Baby's heart rate fell substantially. Our midwife (Sylvie Blaustein) told Rebecca "we need the Baby now!" Rebecca, amazingly, managed to push him out in 5 minutes even though his head was barely showing when Sylvie gave the order. The umbilical cord was around his neck and had begun to tighten on him. But Rebecca got him out in time. And he is totally fine. The whole pushing stage took Rebecca an unusually low 20 minutes. She was thrilled to be done that fast. It was somewhat frightening. We're passing this part of the story along because it was an eye-opener for me (John) in terms of what laboring Moms are truly capable of.We're so happy it's over and to have young Jonah. Our thoughts are with all of you who are about to go through this.
Best wishes to everyone!
John and Rebecca

Baby Number Three Arrives at the SL/R Birth Center
Hi all, Nikhil and I are pleased to announce that our daughter, Nora, was born on November 20, 2007. Baby’s birth weight was 8lb 5oz. Birth was unmedicated and natural. The whole process was not as textbook as we expected, and baby was in a posterior position. Yet, the birth was empowering, and such beautiful birthing experience would not have been possible without our teacher and doula, Mary Esther, midwives Sandy and Coralie, and wonderful nurses at St. Lukes Roosevelt Hospital birthing center.The following is a recap of our experience:11/18 (Sunday)
6.30pm
In the bathroom, mucus plug slipped out followed by a discharge of an unknown volume of fluid, which was mistaken as part of the mucus plug. Called midwife to report the incident without mentioning the fluid discharge (Why? I don’t know. I guess the water not gushing like scenes in the movies did not alarm me that mine was actually water breaking). Midwife told me to go to my scheduled appt the following morning.
No sign of labor, only mild cramps.11/19 (Monday)
9.30am
Reported the incident in detail with the suspicious discharge for midwife. Midwife was extremely concerned that the suspicious fluid was indeed rupture of membrane, which would mean hospital policy would want me to deliver within 24-48 hours to avoid infection, even though a cotton swab test did not show that membrane was ruptured. Midwife was not convinced by test result and insisted that I should watch for further leaks later during the day. 2cm dilated.5.30pm
Further leaks. Called midwife, who suggested taking castor oil to bring on labor.10pm
Castor oil was taken with juice.11/20 (Tuesday)
12-1am
Early first stage labor. I found breathing, vocalization and curling up in bed most helpful.
Darkness and silence helped me concentrate.2-4am
Labor accelerated quickly.4.30am
Reached hospital. 7cm dilated.5.30am
Nikhil fainted. Doc was paged like in movies. Nikhil was sent to ER, and returned like new in 15 mins. I looked at the beautiful dark sky outside window, thinking it will be a long day.6-8.30am
Advanced first stage labor. To my surprise, no self-doubt, but I repeatedly requested to be told when pushing could start. I was eager to get going. I knew this was the time to imagine myself running a marathon. I was told that baby has moved from an anterior position to a posterior position... 8.30-11am
Long second stage labor. My body was tense at the beginning due to the pressure. However, as the pressure intensified, I felt that I needed to let the body take over, surrender to whatever it made me do. 11am-2.30pm
The encouraging coaching voices from midwives, doula, husband and nurses was my fuel and guiding light at this stage. Visualization images also helped pull me through. Fatigue caused a decrease in contractions.
All people in the room were stimulating my nipples and belly to intensify my contractions again and again, like a line of workers in a factory. I tried all birthing positions: lying sideway, all four, full squat, half squat. At some point, I remember Nikhil asking for Advil! he had a headache! In the end, I accepted an episiotomy that was fully consented and greatly needed given the circumstance. I knew I could not push for another few hours and I did not want the baby to be in distress. Baby was born shortly after the procedure. Nikhil and I are thrilled about the whole experience. I would like to share this story because I did not believe that an unexpected birth experience would be beautiful, but mine indeed was, because both Nikhil and I were prepared, and we had a great support team which helped catch all the curveballs and ease my path in the process.Good Luck to all of you. I look forward to hear all the stories!
See attached picture. Best,
Danielle and Nikhil

Baby Number 4 at SL/R Birth Center
Carlos and I are pleased to announce that after 22 hours of labor our daughter, Anna Cruz Engel, was born on December 11, 2007 at 12:21am. She was 6 lb 6oz and 21 inches long. The birth was unmedicated and natural. We are very happy that our birth went the way it did. We couldn't have accomplished what we did without all of the knowledge Mary Esther gave us and the great help of our midwife Sandy Woods.
A quick summary of our experience:
During our last check-up our midwife told us I was already 2 cm dilated (I was 1cm dilated 2 weeks earlier). Contractions started on Monday Dec 10 around 2am. They were 10 minutes apart and 1 minute long average. Around 7am the mucus plug slipped out. At 9am we called our midwife and she told me to take a warm bath for 30 minutes and try to take a nap and to call her when contractions would be 5 minutes apart for a period of 1 hour. I couldn't take a nap. I was hungry so I had a bowl of cereal with milk but my body didn't take it. I tried eating chicken soup around noon, but I vomited again so I continued drinking water, gatorade and juices only. From 2:30 pm to 4:30 pm contractions were coming every 3-5 minutes so we called our midwife. She told us to meet her at the Birthing Center around 6-6:30 pm. While at home I used the physio ball between contractions and walked from one side of the bedroom to the other. My eyes were always closed. It helped me relaxed better. What worked best for me during contractions was hip pressure and lower back pressure (really hard).
We arrived at the Birthing Center at 6:30pm. I was already 8 cm dilated. So I thought 2 cm more should be quick. I was wrong. It took me 4 more hours. Sandy told me to get in the tub and that helped a lot. I was able to manage the contractions without someone putting pressure on my lower back. Then she took me for a walk with Carlos and during the contractions we would do some kind of dance (moving hips from one side to the other) to help move the baby down. After the walk I started feeling the urge to push. I was 9.5 cm dilated so Sandy ruptured the water bag and I started pushing. I was pushing for 1.5 hour. For some reason I thought I would feel much better during the pushing stage but I was exhausted. I felt like sleeping in between contractions. I tried the sideway position first and then the reclined squat position. And finally the baby was born. I was starving right the second the baby was born so I ordered a cheeseburguer.
Carlos and I are extremely happy and are thrilled about the whole experience. Carlos was a great coach and we had a great support team. Thank you!
See picture attached. Good luck to everyone. Looking forward for our next reunion now with the new family members.

Baby Number 5 at SL/R
My birth story really begins around week 40 when "the waiting" for labor started. I started having cramping and contractions during the night beginning in about week 40 through week 42, but each morning they would stop. It seemed that labor was starting, or at least signs of labor, and then they would stop. I couldn't help but feel excited when my mucous plug came out almost entirely toward the end of week 40 (even though we know what that means) but still nothing. When week 41 came and went, I had to let go of the birth center birth that I had been visualizing and hoping for. It was a pretty huge disappointment . At my 41 week checkup, my doctor stripped my membranes which caused incredibly painful cramps and some bleeding, but no onset of labor. She also told me that their practice induces at 41 weeks and 4 days since the risk of stillbirth increases after week 41 and even more so at week 42. This was of course an even bigger disappointment.
At week 41 I also began to have sonograms every two days to check the amniotic fluid and fetal heartbeat. Since induction was imminent, the weekend prior we started to escalate natural stimulation techniques. I walked the stairs in our building, put evening primrose oil on my cervix, walked outside all the time, spiced almost everything I ate, etc. I also started an intense round of acupuncture (the acupressure I had done the week before didn't do much) called labor induction acupuncture which stimulates the labor pressure points with a pulsation of electricity into each needle. Ouch! But it was a good way to practice my pain relief techniques. Each night after acupuncture, I would feel the contractions and cramping for a few hours more intensely each time, but again they would stop in the morning. I felt discouraged that there was an increasing possibility that my birth would be nothing like I'd hoped. I decided that if I had to have pitocin, I would be open to having the epidural, for the same reasons Ilan and Eli listed in their birth story. So….we kept up natural stimulation techniques, more acupuncture, etc. . I realized that many of the things we'd learned in the Bradley book were happening to me. I was a putterer.
Waiting for labor to begin was a struggle and wondering why it wouldn't start was even worse. I had to fight my fears that I was putting my baby at risk by waiting longer and pushing it closer and closer to 42 weeks. It was really difficult to trust that waiting was the right thing to do and that the baby was still ok, even though the testing showed that she was. My fluid continued to be low/normal and her heartbeat was strong. On the day of my scheduled induction, we opted to wait one more day after learning from the testing that morning that fluid was still ok, normal/low. I was alarmed that the resident who did the sonogram said that the placenta looked 'tapped'. I was convinced we should just check in and get the induction over with. I just kept thinking about how devastated we would be If something happened to the baby. I was encouraged that I had been having more intense contractions at night and had had a bloody show that morning. After talking with my doctor, she assured me that the fluid check holds for about 3 days so there would be no further risk in waiting one more day. So that's what we did.
41 weeks and 6 days, day of induction.
I woke up around 6 am and noticed about 6 or 7 short gushes of fluid and thought that I either had a leak or my bag of waters had broken. We called my doctor and she told us we could come in to have the fluid check to see if it had really broken, or stay home during the day as long as the baby was moving sufficiently. Well, not knowing what sufficiently meant and being freaked about low fluid to begin with, we decided to just go in and have it checked. We brought our bags in case, but had planned on checking in after we had lunch that day.
We got to the hospital and they put me on the monitor for what seemed like an eternity – definitely no 20 minute test strip. Contractions were showing on the strip, regularly occurring, but very mild. I was checked by a resident (not our wish as our doctor was in the hospital). She said my water had definitely broken and that I would need to be admitted. We were unprepared for this since we had brought only snacks and fluids, but no real meal. W planned that Stephen would get me some real food as soon as I checked into my room. That never happened and it turned out that my last meal was at 9am that morning. Who knew that we would wait a while for a room and that my labor would start escalating rather quickly. Since I remained in triage on the monitor for some time, we could see (and feel) the regularly occurring pattern of contractions…it seemed like labor was finally starting. By the time we checked into my room, lunch was a distant memory because active labor kicked in pretty quickly. I had to be put back on the monitor for a while since I was in a new room, and my contractions were becoming more intense and closer together very quickly. About 2 hours into labor, I began having some incredibly long contractions lasting 7-9 minutes. This sent Leah into distress, as her heartbeat began racing way above normal for long stretches of time. Essentially, she was going without oxygen for very long periods during contractions…so of course we were freaked out.   I had to stay on the monitor and remain lying down for a long time until the contractions began to become more normal, and her heartbeat stabilize. This became increasingly painful, and I was thankful for the time when I was able to get up and move around. My doctor (who I love) was completely down with the natural birth program, dimmed my lights, let me have intermittent monitoring, brought me a birth ball, and was very compassionate and supportive.             .
About 5 hours into active labor I was 3cm, then 5 cm. It felt like everything started quickly and continued that way for some time. I was encouraged by my dilation and was relieved that Leah's heartbeat seemed to be remaining normal for a good stretch of time. The techniques I found most helpful during this phase were rocking on the birth ball, vocalizing (loudly), counting, and focusing on the breath. Stephen was awesome, supportive and helpful, particularly in applying the very strong pressure I needed on my low back for every single contraction. I was able to get into the tub at some point between 5 and 6 cm, encouraged by my doctor and it sounded like a great idea at the time. Once in the tub I found it was difficult to get warm, since not only was the water not very warm, but half my body wasn't covered. It wasn't long before I was freezing, shuddering and shaking with each contraction. I tried to get out of the tub, but was so cold I felt it was impossible.   When we finally got back to the birth ball with a lot of towels and blankets, I still couldn't get warm. Sometime between the tub and the birth ball the wonderful Mary Esther arrived. Her relaxation coaching and Stephen's back pressure were a winning combination.
I continued to shake and was growing more pale and sickly by the minute. I felt weak and sick, but given that I've never given birth before I didn't know what was normal and what wasn't. The nurse decided to check my temperature and I had 101.5 fever. The source of the problem. Given that my water had broken, I knew I was more prone to infection, but still wanted some exams to check dilation – fatal flaw. I just didn't really think it would happen I guess. I was given 2 round s of antibiotics and some Tylenol…I don't know when the fever went down if it ever really did. I remained freezing and feeling like I had the flu. The next time I was checked, I had reached 7 cm. My doctor had left and a new doctor had taken over. I had met her as she was part of the practice, but wasn't thrilled w/ her demeanor.
The next 3 hours we labored were intense and to be honest, very painful. I was unable to relax during the contraction because I felt so cold, that I shuddered and contracted my muscles. I had the chills so intensely that I found it impossible to keep my body from shaking. Mary Esther kept feeding me soup and water, and I was really sucking it down. I felt incredibly thirsty. I also remember having some really long contractions again, much like the 7 minute long ones, and also double and triple peaks. There were many times when I had no break in between contractions, they just kept coming. The times when I had a few minutes in between were heavenly. I remember Mary Esther coaching me in head to toe relaxation and giving me lavender to smell. I was much more relaxed in these moments and there were like little slices of peace.
We continued our techniques and when I finally vomited my brains out, I thought maybe I was almost through w/ transition. No such luck. I was still at 7cm. Dr. M (not my doctor, but the doctor on call) was concerned that I hadn't dilated any further in 3 hours, and started suggesting that I be given pitocin. The only catch was that I had to lay still in bed! Are you kidding me?? We asked that we be given more time, and I think we were allowed to continue laboring for another ½ hour to hour. When she checked me again, still no more dilation. It seems that I had 'stalled' at 7cm. At this point, she sounded like she wasn't really giving us a choice, that we had to do something to get labor moving. She was convinced that while my contractions were painful, they weren't strong enough to continue contracting my cervix. She intimated that the infection may have something to do with that, ie…that my body was doing two things at once: fighting the infection (and making me incredibly weak), and laboring. At this point, Stephen and Mary Esther were both looking alarmed and I was trying to keep calm and focus on what was happening, but I felt unable to think clearly. Stephen went into the hallway w/ Dr. M, who at this point wasn't seeming likely to negotiate.   In retrospect, its obvious that 'the clock' was ticking on my labor and she wanted to get it over with…thus her vote of no confidence. At the time, I felt vulnerable and would probably have believed anything anyone told me. Basically, Dr. M was insisting that I wouldn't continue to dilate on my own and that I needed the pitocin.
My decision:
So, there we were trying to sort out our options. And then I realized that I had had it. It was a true moment of clarity for me in the midst of a lot of confusion. I would have the pitocin and an epidural. Not only did I feel too weak to continue, I was afraid that by the time I got to pushing I wouldn't have any strength left, and then I might have to have an c-section. So I picked my poison. It all happened rather quickly after that…I had the epidural and the relief was immediate. I was able to lay down and rest for about 2 hours, not really sleeping but resting completely. There were a lot of things 'being done' to me at this point and I had definitely reached Cascade Falls…..I had to have a catheter inserted and an internal heart rate monitor, which I barely remember being inserted. I had IV fluids, though they had been flowing since the fever came about.
Second stage:
We all rested and miraculously I kept dilating until I reached 10cm. The epidural is a very strange thing. Then it began to wear off and back came the low back pressure/pain with each contraction as the baby descended. When it came time to push I had a good amount of sensation and could feel the contractions. Dr. M was rather tough during this stage and seemed impatient, though in the end pushing only lasted for about 1 and ½ hours to 2 hours. Leah's heart rate was getting low so I was given oxygen (Cascading again). Dr. M threatened vacuum extraction at one point and I think it pissed me off so much that I started pushing my brains out. Mary Esther and Stephen were amazing, and really cheering me on. Leah finally arrived in a bath of meconium, and I mean a bath – we have it on video. She didn't breathe for a while, and was frantically being suctioned by the pediatrician, though I couldn't really see any of this as Mary Esther was happily reporting that all was well w/ Leah and telling me how cute she was. Thank you Mary Esther. Stephen and I were both freaked out until we finally heard her cry, which felt like the longest minute or two of my life. I had been so worried that by waiting until 42 weeks I was risking losing Leah, and when I realized how much meconium there was and how much suctioning she was needing, I was really scared. But breathe she did, and not to long after she was in my arms. My placenta came out so quickly I barely noticed, and that too showed major signs of being way over due, very dried out, calcifications, etc. Dr. M said something snotty like ' don't wait until 42 weeks next time'.
The weeks leading up to the birth were really a test of my ability to stay present and accept what was happening and that I had no control over it. Although I was disappointed not to have a natural birth, I feel that I made the right decision given the circumstances. Mary Esther and Stephen were both a huge source of support and comfort, and I felt that they both supported my decision unconditionally. I was truly lucky to have them there. Leah is a beauty—we couldn't be happier.

Baby Number 6 Born at Home
Hello fellow birth warriors!
I look forward to seeing you all, and sharing our children and stories of the first few weeks of life with them on this planet. I know I've enjoyed all the moments I've had with my daughter so far... sleepless and otherwise! wow! Life is delicious now, and I savor these weeks at home. I especially savor those precious few moments I get to take a shower.... Kevin and I seem to be the last of the baby bunch, and we haven't yet shared our birth story with you all. I will try my best to fill you in, but I think I'll need Kevin's help on this one, as my memory of those long days kind of molds into one looooong experience. I'm not so much help on dates and times and what happened when. I'll give it a go..... and Kevin can interject in italics. It all started Saturday evening, January 5, 2008.
We arrived home from our holidays out on Long Island to await our baby's birth, and by that point, we'd been waiting about 6 days. (As you all may or may not know, we were having our baby at home, with a midwife, whose name is Karen.). Kevin just made an excellent lamb shank for dinner, and I started to feel.... something.... about 7 pm. I kept an eye on the clock, and realized the mild cramping every 20 minutes or so could be very early labor. I didn't get too uptight about it, realizing it could or could not be the first stage, but drank a glass of wine, and went to bed about 10 pm.12.15 am, early.
Sunday, Jan 6....
those mild cramp feelings gave way to stronger sensations, that were pulling me out of bed and to the bathroom. I noted the time, and realized these sensations were pretty consistent at about 15 minutes apart. I was confident that labor had begun!
Sunday, Jan 6....
by the morning, I was definitely in labor. Contractions were fairly strong, but started acting a bit sporadic. Sometimes they would come every 5 minutes, then 7, and then 3 minutes, then 10 minutes apart. After all was said and done, we realized that my contractions never evened out, they never came on at consistent, regular intervals. We called Karen and asked her to come over, which she did, and she watched me labor for a while. I spent my time between the bathtub, the shower, and the toilet. Ah, the toilet! Very unglamorous, but the most comfy space for me to be. I started to notice that the contraction itself wasn't the uncomfortable part per se, but the feeling it would leave in my lower back as it subsided was VERY unpleasant. It was beginning to get difficult finding a position to alleviate this. Kevin ran back and forth from the microwave, ever-ready with the heat pack to put on my back. Karen suggested that I try to conserve energy at that point, and focus more on breathing than on making sound ( I was moaning pretty good with each contraction). She tried to get me to eat and drink, which I tried to do, but with little success. Nothing was very appealing except water, and all that went in came back up again. At some point, she went home to get rest, and Kevin and I labored on.
Sunday evening/night....
Kevin called a friend to come over and walk our dog. He stayed up the entire night, talking me through a very Bradley-esque relaxation technique with every contraction. Every 5-10 minutes he would start over again, talking me through a head to toe release. It was extremely helpful to me! I tried to do it myself (on the couple of occasions where Kevin nodded off, and I couldn't wake him except to yell), but my focus couldn't hold onto the technique through the contraction. Laying on my side was beginning to intensify sensation in my lower back and hips, causing the need to shift position with every contraction. Rest was sparse. Kevin was my consistent, patient hero at that point. Labor was moving into day 2 now....
Monday morning, January 7.....
After some calls with progress reports to Karen, she suggested we get up and move around. We started roaming the halls from front room to back room and back again, sort of in a figure 8 pattern, through contractions. As one would come on, I would slow down a bit, but there was some relief from the back pain standing upright. We'd walk for about a half hour or so, then I'd try to lay down through a contraction or two. We did this through daybreak and into the morning. Karen returned, and tried to get me to go outside for a walk. Wasn't going to happen. I wanted to stay home for this home birth, and the LAST thing I wanted to do was get dressed! She tried to get me to eat. Puke. She gave me some horrible drink that she added salt to. Puke again. She began to voice more concern over the need to rest, to eat, and to drink. She wanted to make sure I had the energy to continue. At that point, I was wondering..... continue for how much longer? its already been 30 hours or so... weren't we close? She checked my cervix for dilation..... 4-5 cm. What a blow. I felt the wind definitely go out of my sails with that news. This was when she suggested I do what was necessary to get some rest. She gave me some choices.... a shot of liquor, a glass of wine, or a sleeping pill. Sounds unorthodox, right? I could have cared less. I knew the alcohol would not affect me that much, and I'd never taken a sleeping pill in my life, so I figured it would have the best chance of knocking me out. She wrote Kevin a prescription for Ambien, and sent him off to the pharmacy. So my birth story is not entirely drug-free :-)Monday afternoon, January 7... After a comedy of errors at the pharmacy, Kevin came back about an hour later with the Ambien, and I took one. Karen went home again to get some rest, and Kevin stayed to help me through the contractions again. I was supposed to be sleeping, but the pill sent me on a little trip for about 2 hours. I thought I was Alice in Wonderland, and kept asking Kevin if we were in Wonderland. I remember seeing little fairies made out of the clothes that were laying on the trunk in my bedroom, flying around the headboard of my bed. And I got up even more frequently to use the bathroom. But at the end of it, I felt like I got some rest, like maybe three hours had passed. I learned later that amount of time had not passed, but I did feel better.Monday evening/night...Jan 7......
I have no idea how we passed this time. Kevin has to tell you. We spent the night sleeping in 3 minute snatches as Judi needed talking through every contraction and counter pressure on her lower back. I was exhausted by now and missed several contractions as Judi was kind enough to let me sleep through some.   At some point, we filled the labor pool I bought to give birth in, and spent about a total of 1.5 hours in it. the water seemed to slow contractions down, and any position in the tub put more pressure on my lower back.
Tuesday morning...
Jan 8....
about 5 am, Karen showed up with reinforcements. She brought with her a lovely doula named Colleen who let Kevin get some much needed rest while she walked with me through contractions. She was awesome. Throughout the day, she was a second set of hands on my sore and tired back. By this time, I had a big bruise from all the counter-pressure, and a mild burn from all the heat packs. At some point in the early part of the day, I had the urge to push. Karen suggested I do just that. My question was about dilation... what if I wasn't open enough yet? She assured me that my body knew when to push, and to follow the urge.... so I did. All the live long day, in the pool, on the toilet, in the bed, squatting, leaning against the wall, against the chair, all of it.
Tuesday afternoon, Jan 8......
By the afternoon, I was tired, and sore, and losing hope this kid would ever come out of me. Karen checked me again.... 7-8 cm dilated. Are you kidding me??? Her next suggestion was that she would manually dilate  me as I push, which would hurt, she said, or I could go through a couple of hours of contractions without pushing, which would also hurt. I chose the manual effacement/dilation, because it seemed like it would be the shorter route. It didn't hurt so much, actually, except after the contraction, when my back would tighten up as if in a vice. But good old Colleen and Kevin were there to help me through, God bless them both. After some time of this, the midwife stopped trying to dilate me. It wasn't budging like she had hoped. This was the time i started to lose it. I asked her what my options were. Could we just pop some pitocin in there and be done with it? If I had gone to the hospital and had a c-section, I'd be home by now! Are we going to end up there anyway? If so, let's go NOW. Karen was calm, and reassured me that I wouldn't be home by now after a c-section, and we didn't need to head off to the hospital, that I could do this. She was going to get another midwife in here, to help with this step. While she was away, she asked me to labor without pushing, to try and get the cervix to open a little more, which I did- for a couple more hours.
Tuesday evening, Jan 8.....
More reinforcements arrived. Midwife #2, Kristen, was on the scene, and breathing some fresh air into this labor. All of us were so exhausted by this point, it was so good to have this new set of eyes, ears, and hands! to help us all through. So, back to pushing and manual dilation. I had dilated slightly more in the interim, to about 8.5 cm. Karen and Kristen held the cervix back as I pushed the baby down into the birth canal. It was early evening now, around 6 pm.
Tuesday night, Jan 8....
Pushing, pushing, and more pushing. I pushed on the bed from one side to the other, then on my back. I pushed in a squatting position, and the toilet, all of which felt like a grand piano had been dropped on my back. All of this long and painful back labor was due to the fact that my daughter was in an occiput posterior position, or "sunnyside up". Apparently, certain positions of pushing were better for this type of delivery, like an almost completely reclined back position. Trouble was, I didn't really feel like I could get the leverage to push very well like that. The toilet and the squat were great with gravity, but my lower back was about to explode. After every push in those upright positions, I swore secretly inside I wouldn't survive another one. The baby slowly, ever-so-slowly, worked her way down, and then it was time to finish it where it all began: on the wonderful toilet! My water broke while I was pushing, about 9-10 pm... Kevin climbed on the toilet tank and was putting counter-pressure on my lower back, Karen sat on the edge of the tub, checking on the baby's head, Kristen leaned over her shoulder, and Colleen ran and got me whatever I needed.
Tuesday night, 10.50 ish pm....
The ring of fire! She crowned, and I screamed. Karen grabbed me by the arm, looked me in the eye, and said I had to get up and squat for the next contraction, so the baby would not be born in the toilet. I couldn't believe after all this pushing she was finally ready to come out. And when the next contraction came, I pushed, and she was born. 10.59 pm, with a massive conehead and mighty lungs. After all that, she came out with two final pushes. 71 hours melted away as little Ella Michelle squealed in my arms.
Tuesday night, 11-12.30....
Ella was beautiful. She was very alert and bright, and took to my breast about 30 minutes after the birth. Although we were all so wiped out, we were all so excited and happy to see her and to get the good report of excellent health. Her head was very smushed through the long journey down, and she had some bruising there, but nothing to concern ourselves about. Throughout the labor, the midwives kept checking diligently for her hearbeat with the doppler monitor; she never wavered--it was always strong and steady. I had to have a few stitches, so Karen and Kristen did the honors while I nursed my baby girl.... in my own bed. Then I had some cereal (a much needed meal after 3 days!), got instructions for the next couple of days as to what to do for myself and the baby from the midwives, they all said good-bye (after a toast of Cotes du Rhone that Kevin brought out), and there were the three of us, soooo ready for a long and well deserved sleep.
A very happy ending to it all!